Vanilla Ice: Where is he now?

OBAMBI BLOGGER Here!

VHUno brings you world exclusive interview with blog sensation OBAMBI!

An in depth investigation by the producers of “Where R They Now?” into the present day location of 80’s “rap” wonderboy, Vanilla Icicle invested months of time in the search to bring you the Man Behind the Myth

After finally tracking him down to a basement meth lab in Skanksville trolling www.wordpress.com under the alias “Obambi“, our reporter, Jammie-Jam-Jam, sat down with Vanilla Icicle for an in-depth interview lasting a total of 2 minutes, an eternity to the tweaker.

Jammie-Jam-Jam: So man, you know I worshiped you in my youth, growing up white middle class with no rhythm in the burbs? Where have you been all these years when “we” needed you?

Vanilla Icicle: You know man, I’ve been just kicking it old skool and all. It’s been tuff since I got outta the joint for touching that 12 year old. That was so crack! I mean she was def 14 when I had her in ta my trailer. F***ing cops, F*** that B****! I gave it to her good, then she goes rat’s me out! She was all grovin’ on my jams, but whateva I’m done with that all.

J-J-J: dem the breaks bro, I picked up mad tang when I was young jammin’ on your mad beats. So what you been up to lately, any projects in the works?

VI: You know, i got some things in the works, throwing some words together. Man, the world’s just waiting for me to throw those words together with funky white boy beats, and dem white boys are just eating that rap up nowadays.

J-J-J: You got that straight. Any inspirations lately to getting you rhyming & rapping again?

VI: Yeah well, you know, between hits on the pipe and trollin the internet forums, I watch dat B**** Ellen D. And like between searching for rocks in the carpet, I saw that brother on the TV dancing [Barack Obama for our viewers] and I was like, daaammmm man dat guy’s got some moves. First ting, I was all pissed like, cuz he was movin and groving and you have no idea how much I busted my ass practicing that stuff back in da day. Den I’m like, shit that brother’s got nottin’ on my style. Hell man, he’s gonna be drawing all the attention from my jailbait gurlz. I can’t be having none of dat.

J-J-J: So that means we’re gonna be seeing some new material from you soon?

VI: nah, nah nuttin like that, that brother just got me fired up, and like now I just post mad crap about him on the computer.

J-J-J: Oh really? Vanilla, anything your fans would wanna see?

VI: nah, I don’t need dem anymore, I got me a huge followin’ over der at wordpress, they just lap up all my words der like dem girls pack in the 80s, and wait, why you callin me Vanilla man? Don’t you know I’m Obambi now?!

J-J-J: ah yeah, man sorry! guess I wasn’t thinking as that is how we tracked you down.

Obambi: whatever, you don’t know crap, I’m a bigger star now der than I eva was back in the days. just wish I was pulling in the mad tang like in the old days.

J-J-J: umm, ya, sure dude, keep living in yer own reality. that jailbait that turned you in was the only tang you got back then, but whatever, it’s your “world” believe what you want.

Obambi: ah go F*** yerself! an where’s dat 20 bones you was gonna pay me for talking, I gotta go ge me some more smack. and F*** dude, I just missed posting 5 times while wasting my time here listenin to you

J-J-J: alright, here’s the 20, I’m outta here

editor’s note: if you made it this far you at least found it interesting enough to continue reading to the end, so at least give it some props for the effort I put into it